Web Week | The funniest stories, videos, and social media mishaps on the web this week

Airport security results in public nudity

Ever since 9/11, the security measures taken at the airports across America have been unbearable. Immediately after 9/11, it was understood and even welcomed to a degree. The problem is that it has continued to become more and more ridiculous with each and every passing year.

Right after 9/11, I took a flight to Monterey, California. I had to be in line two and half hours early and it was long and frustrating yet I understood. A few years went by and I flew out to Nashville, Tennessee. This time I had to be checked in three hours early and in addition to walking through the metal detector, I had to remove my shoes. This was tiring and frustrating as well, but the difference was that I no longer understood. The 9/11 attack was, at that time, nine years ago.

Now more than a decade later I won’t even get on an airplane. I prefer to drive or take a train or anything as long as I don’t have to enter an airport and deal with the incredibly insane airport security that is in place. There is a list of reasons. To start with, it just shouldn’t take that long to board a plane. The main reason is that I don’t really feel like being groped or walking through a full body x-ray machine.

All of our complaints haven’t had the impact that one Portland man has made in one deciding moment. After passing through a metal detector and then being patted down, John E. Brennan made a conscious decision to make everything easier while also showing just how ridiculous airport security has become. John stripped down butt naked for every worker and passenger to see. John later stated, “The most effective way to tell them I’m not carrying a bomb is to take off my clothes.” I applaud John, with a single act he has exemplified the stupidity of airport security, the complete and utter rudeness of TSA employees and has managed to get people talking about airport security measures.

The Idiot Logs – No need for Police Work

If all criminals were this stupid we wouldn’t need cops

Some daily crimes are well thought out and even though the act of the crime lacks morality we can at least see the intricate nature of the crime. In some cases, we can even see each piece that pulled a crime together as intelligent in its own way. Other times we are left wondering how one person could be so stupid and idiotic, these criminals are worthy of the idiot logs.

One New York Idiot criminal of the month bragged about robbing banks on Facebook for the entire world to see, including photos of him showing off his recent spoils. A lot of criminals eventually get picked up through their own inability to refrain from bragging, however this talented bank robber takes the cake on bragging. He made everyone’s job a little easier, bet he won’t be posting anymore where he’s going.

This week in Ohio a gun toting individual brought a gun wrapped up in his jacket into the Lorain County Justice Center, he was scheduled for a pretrial on, believe it or not several charges relating to gun violence. This young gun slinger was obedient enough to follow security protocol, as he did place his concealed gun into the bin prior to passing through the metal detector. He was immediately arrested, I’m not sure if he ever made it to his pretrial. At least his next pretrial should be smoother since he’ll probably be in a stylish orange jumpsuit and free of any hidden items.

In the juvenile idiot criminal category we have a young 17 year old Las Vegas teen who was arrested for shooting the Lewis and Clark County Detention Center with a BB gun. I know it was only a BB gun and not a real gun so at least it wasn’t lethal, still there are certainly better places to go target shooting, like the Las Vegas deserts. Even if he didn’t want to go out into the hot sand there had to be better places, that didn’t have detention officers on staff. Hopefully he’ll gain some smarts before he enters adulthood.

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Everyone knows that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is a classic American staple. It is definitely a household name. In the first part of this century, there was even a popular flash animation that featured a happy smiling banana, oddly, completely unrelated to the sandwich. Here are some fun facts about this strange phenomenon.

This character popped up on internet users’ signatures and was a popular emoticon throughout online forums for a short time in 2001. Family Guy featured an episode titled The Courtship of Stewie's Father. In one scene, Brian tries to cheer Peter up by wearing a banana suit and singing that altogether too familiar song, there is also a YouTube video where Charles Manson sings the song.

This song has also been used to get the audience and players enthusiastic during pitches later in a ballgame for the The University of Georgia Diamond Dawgs. In Weezer’s video, Pork and Beans, the illusive dancing banana appeared for a split second. Hot Topic sold shirts that had “It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time” splayed across the front. If you have an ipod, iphone or ipad, there is a free app in Apple Inc.’s Apple Store called PBJTime. In 2007, on an episode of American Idol, there was a contestant who auditioned in a banana suit, singing the song while ecstatically dancing. The judges disqualified him in less than ten seconds.

To see a video of our nation’s troops getting down to the song, click here. There’s even a website dedicated to the heavily pixelated dancing banana you can check out by clicking here: http://peanutbutterjellytime.net/

Social Shower Curtain Hits Market

A social shower curtain, seriously?

You know social media might have gotten a bit out of hand when Facebook can now be brought into the bathroom. This shower curtain by U.K. Design Company: Spinning Hat features a see through design so your mug (or profile picture) can be clearly visible to… oh, I don’t know, your toilet or sink perhaps whilst you shower and suds away, but it won’t be available until February. Click here to preorder it now.

Technically, though, this is representative of your shower curtain’s profile, not yours. As you gaze further down, below the profile picture see through hole, you’ll see that your shower curtain has made friends with your bath tub, which, as you’ll see upon further inspection, likes to tell corny jokes. But it doesn’t stop there, the wash basin wants to be unblocked (…from your friend’s list…in reality?), only the magical world of Facebook knows for sure.

This interesting take on bathroom décor has gotten lots of attention in the blogosphere, some good, some not-so-good. On January 5^th, 2012, the copyranter made a post about it, with the title: If you buy this shower curtain, you deserve to be stabbed to death by a psycho.

This is quite the statement, but a wise reader would know he’s alluding to that famous scene in Psycho. You know… the shower scene. I won’t go on.

However, apparently the idea of bringing social media out of the internet world and into real life is nothing new. Check out, the social media Keds featuring Twitter and Facebook, Google and Wikipedia designs here.

Internet Dating Scam

Fellow internet surfers beware. Recently, there has been a new trend forming within the category of fraud scams.

As internet dating has become more and more popular, seniors in particular, have taken an interest in befriending potential men and women through the cyber webs. However, many of these older citizens have been taken for.

If someone networks with you who seemingly have the same interests as the ones you publicly posted on a social media site, feel free to raise your skeptics’ lenses. For example, you may list gardening as one of your hobbies. Be wary of someone who contacts you via an online dating site who randomly claims to have a green thumb.

Let’s say someone sends you pictures as a form of proof that they do, in question, exist. Remember that pictures of models can be acquired anywhere off the internet. It really comes down to what your conscience is telling you. If someone sounds too good to be true, they probably are.

Scam artists are now conceding to steal away lonely older age internet users’ money away by convincing them to fork over cash. This strategy proves especially effective once the scam artist has taken the time to befriend victims’ with a lonely heart for a few weeks. Then- once a relationship of sorts has been established between the scam artist and their prey, they’ll ask for money.

Also, be aware that once money has been given, it will never stop being requested. In some cases, folks have lost as much as 10,000 dollars. To read more about this unusual scam, go here.

The Inevitable Truth About Books

This holiday season Slate Magazine is suggesting that you do not support local. The article goes on to state that it encourages buying from Amazon versus buying from an independent book store.

The reasoning is that amazon is guaranteed to be cheaper. Buying a cherished copy of that Steinbeck novel recommended to you over drinks last weekend at the Barnes and Noble down the street is not a local, cultural experience. That Steinbeck novel could have easily been bought on amazon… for much cheaper.

Further, the money you saved by buying books from amazon can be put toward local, cultural experiences in your hometown. These include things such as shopping at your local farmer’s market or seeing a show at your local playhouse.

While this article does attempt to make a point or two, the fact still stands that going into that local bookstore and buying that book creates profit for the store, serving to help keep it in business; though, only for so long.

We are in a technological age. Netflix has killed every blockbuster in America. When amazon introduced the kindle, they put us one step closer to eliminating the need for paper completely. While tree huggers may delight in this fact, it may seem disheartening to think that there may not be a need for bookshelves (much less bookstores) in the future. Our bookshelves will simply be dependent on how much space our hard drives have for storage of eBooks.

Yet, our generation has become increasingly distracted by the whimsy and magic that is the platform of ever growing technology. So perhaps, putting books in electronic, instant gratification form may have been what saved the dying age of books in the first place.

Shame on You, Facebook

Facebook has more privacy policies that the United States of Constitution, really!

Do you like the idea of some guy in Bulgaria looking up information about you after seeing your comment on a blog or news article of interest? What about an old crush from high school seeing a picture of you in... let’s just say, not the most flattering light. A headhunter will tell you that most employers search the names of prospective employees on Google and Facebook, that’s a little scary to think about, if you ask me.

We live in an age where Facebook is the one of the biggest social experiments of our time. Unfortunately, that means privacy breaches are inevitable.

Facebook is adding new features every day. Thereby, making the privacy controls increasingly difficult to control. One might almost feel as if they have to read a whole manual to control these settings effectively.

Fortunately, there are people taking a stand against Facebook and the strains it puts on privacy. One of the most outraging things is that Facebook will change these settings without your permission, so you might not even be aware that some pictures of you are out there on the internet.

We should have the right to keep private life, private. The folks’ over at reclaimprivacy.org agree. Following some very simple steps will allow a tool to scan your facebook profile to show you exactly how your current privacy settings stand.

Also, take a gander over at Openbook.org. This was a project run by three guys who claim (and rightfully so) that Facebook has a “bewildering amount” of privacy settings, The New York Times wrote about it here. They have proposed a simple, easy to understand privacy slider bar at the forefront of your profile. This is a great idea and shame on Facebook for not putting privacy at the forefront of their concern for ensuring loyal users.

Presenting The Human Marvels

Inspiring stories of people with unique abilities and traits

The unique human beings at The Human Marvels website are presented not as the “freak shows” or side shows of the past, but as individual examples of the human experience—of tenacity, courage, and the human spirit itself. The website’s host, J. Tithonus Pednaud, insists that he is chronicling these amazing people out of respect for who they are—and for the ridicule they’ve overcome by being judged by others.

It’s really an amazing listing of people, featuring many different persons with various abilities and unique physical characteristics. But is our fascination for it really out of simple curiosity and admiration—or a morbid fascination? I suppose it’s only human to want to read about and look at people different from ourselves; why else would we watch National Geographic specials about people from around the world? I only can’t guarantee that people looking at the site are maintaining this same respect—and the author himself seems to use tags such as “freak” and “deformed,” which certainly don’t sound like marvelous descriptions—or very respectful, either. Still, the writing in which the author uses to chronicle these peoples’ lives is respectfully used, and I believe him when he says that the site is a tribute to such people rather than a gawker’s lane.

Each entry provides a brief history of the individual, describing his or her career, characteristics or abilities, and a photo when applicable. People with very brittle bones, women with beards, a man who stood at over eight feet tall, and a man who could even catch cannonballs fired at him are all featured on the website.

It is heartbreaking to read some of these peoples’ stories. A man who broke dozens of bones in his body—known as “the frog boy” because of his bone disease and placement—must have been in so much pain. Many people were viewed by the scientific community as research projects, and some were not born into their conditions at all. One armless girl, for example, was tortured by her own father, who held her to the stove until not one, but both of her arms were destroyed. To think of what that poor baby went through breaks my heart. We now know that people can live without arms, but in the late 1800s, I am sure it was much more difficult—and the cause of her condition is just despicable.

Looking through these stories, it really does fascinate you to imagine how these people lived—especially in times when technology wasn’t so advanced to provide much help. Their stories really are those of bravery and tenacity, and most are very inspirational—not to mention humbling.

Little Brother May Be Tweeting and Making Fun of Your Conversations.

Yes, it's true. We are watching you.

A few years ago, I was sitting around with a mini-recorder secretly tape-recording a friend as he droned on and on and on about the threat of little brother versus big brother. Everyone present appreciated the irony of his statements and we later played the recording back to him. This was before the days of Twitter and Facebook, so our little recording didn’t go very far.

Which is very unlike what happened to an extremely unfortunate couple dining in Burger King recently. The couple was fighting when avid Tweeter and apparent social commentator Andy M. Boyle decided to live-Tweet the couple’s discussion directly from the scene.

Andy M. Boyle’s tragic narration of the scene and the discussion between the young married couple can be found on HERE on storify.com. What is noteworthy about this particular exchange is how not noteworthy it actually is. A young couple threatening divorce, arguing over dishes and a slap? How uncommon are fights like this really?

The only uncommon thing about the entire event was that Andy M. Boyle captured the entire on Twitter. He gives his readers not just the couple’s dialog, but the scene and the response from the customers at the Burger King as well. (It should be noted that the Burger King crowd was decidedly NOT on the young man’s side during the course of the argument.)

Do we all have to watch what we say in public? Should we all be extra-aware that all of our actions could be scrutinized at point in time?

The Tweets in the Burger King are symbolic of our times; we are all vulnerable to being

made fun of on social media. Any private jokes among friends could be misconstrued as something they are not. Any personal greetings in public between a married couple could be mocked on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, or even You-Tube. The possibilities to dramatize the lives of ordinary people are endless.

Even attempts to ignore being recorded will be noted by some as obvious; the couple who never talks to each in public obviously has deep-seated issues and problems in the bedroom, the friends who are playing with each others ears are probably closeted gays, and the dirty hippie couple at a protest is obviously just more interested in re-starting the free love era than participating in democratic elections.

Little brother and little sister are everywhere.

Google Refuses To Pull Police Brutality Video

"I for one cheer on Google's action in this case and I hope they continue to maintain the same stance"

Well, I gained a new found respect for Google this week. Google received 757 requests to remove material from its web properties this last year. One was a video posted to YouTube clearly demonstrating police brutality, at least in the eye of this observer (and I watched it twice...and cringed!).

Google refused to take down the video even when a formal request came from a police agency. However, there was no court order to take down the video so Google did not consider this defamation. In a "transparency" document they released to the public, it appears that Google is taking the stance that if there is no court order, they don't plan to take it down.

This is good news for many who feel that police enforcement and other governmental agencies and entities get away with things because they are not brought to the light of the public. Many people feel that governmental entities intentionally use their weight to cover up things that would put them in a less than flattering light.

I, for one, cheer on Google's action in this case and I hope they continue to maintain the same stance for similar requests in the future. In my opinion, there should be a zero tolerance for police brutality and put these instances before the public eyes will go a long way in drastically reducing this type of criminal behavior by those who are supposed to the ones we can trust above all - and the ones that are supposed to be protecting us, not harming us.